Living on a Visa
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Back in 2017, I had the chance to participate in the Microsoft Imagine Cup Final and was flown to Seattle. We extended our trip to San Francisco afterward. While preparing for the trip, I kept thinking that this might be my first and last chance to set foot on U.S. soil, so I had to make it count. I made sure to experience everything the U.S. had to offer: visiting the first Starbucks, eating at In-N-Out, standing in awe at the Golden Gate Bridge and Space Needle, buying those worthless pressed penny souvenirs, and even catching the unmistakable smell of weed in downtown.
At that time, I never imagined I would eventually work and live in this country.
Five years later, when the opportunity to work in the United States finally came, I was thrilled. However, it’s not all fun and games. One thing I want to share here is that being on a visa meant my future in the U.S. was not entirely in my hands.
Coming to the United States on a visa means that your life is in the hands of your visa sponsor. For an F1 student visa, your sponsor is your university or school. If you get expelled, your visa status becomes invalid. For an H1B work visa, your sponsor is the company you work for.
This is where the power imbalance comes in. The company basically decides whether you stay in the U.S. or not. Although there is a grace period to find a new job if you’re laid off, your life will still depend on another company afterward. There’s almost no escaping the wheel of capitalism on a visa.
That’s why many people aim to get permanent residence (commonly known as a Green Card). With it, you’re free from the corporate shackles that tie your legal status to employment. This has been the “standard pipeline of legal immigration” for many people. Until…
In 2022, I started my first year working for a big company in the United States. COVID was socially gone but still financially burdening the U.S., causing rampant inflation. The Federal Reserve tried to save the day by hiking interest rates. You know the story: ZIRP projects were cut, bubbles burst, and jobs were slashed. I found myself included in layoff considerations for the second time.
I’m no stranger to layoffs. My previous company, Traveloka, had similar cuts at the start of COVID due to travel restrictions. But this layoff felt different. I was in another country, on a visa, and my life trajectory was basically in my company’s hands. The stakes were higher.
Fortunately, I wasn’t impacted at that time. But waking up to a 3 AM email from Mark Zuckerberg was definitely not something I’d wish on anyone. Morale was low for everyone, myself included. With a 13% cut in the workforce (11,000 jobs), no corporate statement could assure me that this will be the last time it happen.
It doesn’t take that long for that reassurance to be shattered. In fact, the butcher never left the room, and we had to live with that uncertainty forever.
In April 2023, another round of layoffs hit the engineering teams, cutting another 3,000 jobs. Layoffs continued silently in the following year, targeting different organizations, often without employees knowing the details until external news sources reported them.
At last, in January 2025, the latest announcement of layoffs came as a shock. This time, layoffs were tied to performance, announced right after we submitted our self-reviews. The timing felt calculated. Why didn’t they give us a chance on something that we had a control of?
“It’s just another layoff,” I told myself.
But then, several days later, an email from my lawyer arrived in my inbox.
“We will not be able to move forward with your current PERM matter due to a recent layoff.”
What the…?
Living in a new country with a vastly different culture was already hard enough. The additional burden of maintaining visa status added even more stress, and this was by design. My visa status depended on my employer. My health insurance was tied to my company; without it, I’d face exorbitant healthcare costs. My apartment lease required pay stubs to keep my rental. Even my freedom, the chance to get permanent residence (part of it is PERM), was at the mercy of the company. That email from my lawyer was the final slap in the face that made me realize something:
This “land of the free” is a lie.
It’s not free as in beer, nor free as in speech.
The corporation owns you.
Today’s layoff is a wake-up call for me.
Because of this never-ending layoffs, it feels like for the past three years, my life has revolved around work. Five days a week were dedicated to the grind: waking up early, going to the gym, working for eight hours, coming home with no energy to do anything else, and repeating the cycle. Weekends were for rest, more sleep than I care to admit and doom-scrolling on my phone. Work consumed me in unhealthy ways.
And it didn’t pay off well. At least not for my own self-development and my mental well-being.
It highlighted how much control my company had over my sense of stability and identity. Something I’m now determined to change. For the past three years, I’ve been wrongly dedicating my life to a company. I shouldn’t dedicate my life to any company.
This is my life.
I’ve lost my own plot. I don’t know what my hobbies are anymore. I don’t know which circle of friends I belong to. I don’t enjoy things I once loved, like playing games, coding for fun, or going on backpacking trips. It’s time to restrategize.
How can I regain control over my life?
That’s the question I’m now determined to answer.
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